Hammer Vs Toe

In the event of engine failure, please move to the back of the carriage, and assume that everything is going to be fine and dandy, do not assume however that the president of the national aquanautic exploration team will call you Jeff. Unless of course your named is Jeff.
or Ethel.

Sometimes, like this time, are times when I am tired beyond what is natural,.. and have eaten primarily biscuit dough, and chocolate topping. Which makes for a healthy child, if in fact you did not eat just those two things, and ate a healthy lunch instead.

And now it's time for everyone's favourite part of the day, it's the time for a story, and today's story is about a small african fellow, who resembles a chicken, and smells faintly of garlic... We shall call him 'Ttembe"... no, lets call him Richard. Well anyway, Richard was walking down the street, singing his little song about the people who live in the house underneath where the postman goes to put his shoes in a big freezer, when all of a sudden a thermonuclear eggplant fell from the sky, stole Richards wallet, and promptly exploded. This made Richard very sad, because he liked his wallet, and also because his shorts had caught fire in the explosion... So Richard ran towards the lake, to douse the fire in it's cool blue water, when who should stroll along but Mr. Duck? Now Mr. Duck was quite taken aback that Richards pants were on fire, and he was even insulted when Richard didn't greet him as he hurriedly walked past him down the street, so as all good puerto ricans do, he pulled out a large atlantic salmon, and proceeded to beat Richard until he was (insert word here). The End.

and the moral of the story?

Don't go outside. EVER.

This has been storytime with stories,..

And now, for my favourite part of the day, the bit where I go to sleep, and enjoy the warmth and comfort weight of my doona. If I snore too loudly feel free to build an ark, we can go sailing.