Calendariffic

I've done the research,... spent hours poring over material,... conferring with highly respected scientific minds in the scientific community,.. . generally at the scientific corner store drinking scientific coffee (or tea, depending on your preferences),... and the undeniable results are this;

March is the only month you can do.

Now I'm sure someone with an immature mind will immediately try to denounce this statement, saying something like,.. "But you can 'do' April".. but I'm sure April wouldn't appreciate you saying things like that, because she's a lovely girl, and it's more than likely that the kind of person who would suggest something like that would never get the chance to 'do' April...

And don't forget, you sure as smoke can't February.